Movie Reviews

HARRY POTTER AND THE GOBLET OF FIRE

2005-12-30T09:03:00.000-08:00

Drumroll please...This is the very first review by the lovely Farzanah aka Chakra-Chick. Enjoy.

I know that most HP fans have already watched this movie more than once (or if you are like me…thrice already!). It has been my favourite installment of the series (books) thus far and the movie certainly did not disappoint…(well, it kinda did, but more on that later)

Every Harry Potter fanatic will agree with me when I say that the movie left out quite a number of plotlines as well as characters. But of course that is to be expected…you obviously can’t cram a 400-odd-page novel into a two-hour movie. Some of the characters left out were:

*The Dursley family

*Winky (Mr. Crouchs’ house-elf)

*Dobby

*Mrs. Weasly

*The Veela (I was VERY disappointed that they had left these magical beings out of the movie!)

Plots which I would have liked to see:

*The S.P.E.W club (the club Hermione started when she found out how oppressed house-elves were)

*The visit to Hogsmead

*The deciphering on Hermione’s part that a certain someone was an un-registered animagous

*The Viktor Krum-Hermione kiss

*More on the Quidditch World Cup

Also, I think most of you will agree with me when I say that the movie moved VERY fast from one scene to the next. I have also read in a few reviews it stated that the special effects kinda ‘dwarfed’ the acting abilities of the cast…I personally don’t think so, but the effects were really fascinating.

I still think it was an awesome movie.

The characters that were with us from the Philosophers’ Stone have grown into handsome young men and lovely young women and the new characters were exactly like how Ms. JK Rowling had described them in the book.

The characters of Cedric Diggory & Viktor Krum were, of course, the best eye-candy (after Harry, of course!).

The teachers were mostly all the same faces, except for Mad Eye Moody, Igor Karkaroff & Madame Maxime; which were all portrayed brilliantly. For some reason, I just cannot seem to warm-up to the new Dumbledore (Michael Gambon)…I much rather preferred the previous actor---he seemed more Dumbledore-like.

Then of course there was the horribly annoying Rita Skeeter and her ‘quick-quotes-quill’…man oh man-how I wanted to gouge her eyes out with that quill of hers!

The funniest characters were of course, the Weasly Twins…that Fred & George were hysterical. And dear Ron was definitely second.

Cho Chang and Fleur DeLacour were well-picked to play their characters…especially Cho…she is so adorable and I love that Scottish accent of hers.

I cannot believe that they chose the very hunky Ralph Fiennes to portray the most vile character-Lord Voldemort. Still, he did a great job of it.

I cannot say that I didn’t enjoy any of the scenes and I will have a difficult task to pick my favourite part in the movie. There are a couple of things that, when I was reading the book, I though-“how are they going to be able to make this description a visual’ and when I saw it on screen I was like all wide-eyed and opened-mouthed! The Yule-Ball, the dragons, the mermaids, the gilly-weed effect on Harry, the resurrection of The dark Lord…just to name a few.

The first time I saw Cedric on screen I was like; “Awww damn! He’s so goddamn gorgeous and he’s going to die later on!” And when he died, I bawled my eyes out…even after I had watched it the third time! I’m silly, I know…

All in all, it was a fantastic movie and every-time I watch it, I will be just as amazed and captivated as I was when I first watched it!

If you haven’t seen it yet, go…NOW!

28 DAYS LATER

2005-11-18T21:33:00.000-08:00

It’s time for another REVIEW! And this one is going to be in the normal format aren’t you excited, it won’t take you forty-five minutes to read.

[S H O C K S] 20/25

Uh yeah there were shocks, if only for the fact that to imagine waking up in a hospital and finding the city you live in completely deserted would be the most shocking and terrifying thing that could ever happen. Unless you were one of two people and the other one happened to be Cillian Murphy. Then I’d say barricade yourself in a posh hotel with plenty of canned food and start the world over again. It’s for the good of mankind Cillian we have to have sex.

[A N T A G O N I S T] 25/25

Zombies and boy howdy were there a lot of them. They aren’t your typical slow going lumbering zombies either [unless of course you are watching Land of the Dead, in which case get a life because those SUCK]. These are fast mothers and they won’t hesitate to chase your ass down. They are also not infected with the typical Zombie virus [is it a virus anyway?] they are infected with rage. They are really pissed off and they want to take it out on you. I suppose though I should say the real antagonist is blood. Blood is what will turn you from loving father to insane madman. No one is safe, you happen to stand under an infected corpse and some blood drips down on your face, well you can kiss your life goodbye because if they don’t shoot you I will. Of course you have your minor antagonists and they aren’t zombies or blood but people you should trust. Damn you British Military.

[S C A R I N E S S] 20/25

I was scared. Hell I’ve seen it fifteen times and it still sort of frightens me. Maybe it’s the social message i.e. people kill each other every day because they are angry over something or another, be it cutting someone off on the freeway or you just really hate that sweater they are wearing. There aren’t a lot of pop out at you moments, some but the film doesn’t have to use those to get you. All it has to say is “Hey look how real I am, Look what could happen”. And for a few moments you think holy shit this could really be happening. Also it just proves my point that monkeys are evil. They’ll give you zombie rage and Ebola. Some of them may be cute but really only when they are in cartoons. If I wanted poo flung at me and terrible organ liquefying diseases I’d…well the whole point is I don’t want that.

[E N J O Y M E N T] 23/25

I think it’s pretty obvious that I thoroughly enjoyed this film. It has become one of my all-time favorite movies. Cillian Murphy is great and not just because you get to see his fun bits in the beginning [See: Extra-Credit]. Girls kicking ass always make me happy because usually we are portrayed as idiots who can’t do anything but fuck the hero and simper in a corner. Machetes are our friends, lets all embrace that.

[E X T R A - C R E D I T] 55

· + 20 for Cillian Murphy’s nude scene at the beginning, hey I’m not some blushing virgin but it still makes me do a happy sigh.

· + 15 for the kick ass chick

· + 10 for the realism [I mean minus the zombie part of course]

· + 10 for the sweet looking zombies

RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD: NECROPOLIS

2005-10-20T21:27:00.000-07:00

This review is a little different than most of them will be, but this movie was so damn awful I decided to spare you the pain and just recap the entire film. So if you have been waiting to rent this at Blockbuster and don't want the predictable ending spoiled I guess this is your warning to not read on. Of course if that is the case, I'm almost ashamed you are here. Don't waste your money, wait a couple weeks, make some coffee and I'm sure at one or two AM it will be on again. And now, ladies and gentlemen I give you....THE RECAP: [P.S. It's really long, just another small warning BUT you get a special treat at the end I.E. picture of cute boy]

I’m going to go ahead and admit that I watched this movie on the Sci-Fi channel because there is no way I would waste a netflix rental on this crap. I am also doing this a little differently and I am going to go ahead and recap the entire movie so you my dear friend will not have to waste hours of your life actually watching it. Trust me, you’ll pray someone breaks into your house and eats your brain if you do.

The movie starts with three men walking into some abandoned building, from the way two of them are talking I’ll just go ahead and assume they are shiesty Russians, and the other guy is Peter Coyote. You’d probably recognize him if you saw him. I kind of almost remember him not being a terrible actor, so I assume they paid him extra to be terrible in this film. He is creepily buying toxic sludge from the shiesty Russians. One of the guys, Nicholai disappears to get more barrels from somewhere else. Which is stupid because those barrels are huge, how would he carry it? We now find out that this toxic stuff is a very sexy ultra green. HOT! Now I love Zombie movies. I am a huge fan. But I do not like the zombies that walk around doing much more than grunting and mindlessly attacking us non-zombie folk. That’s why when Nicholai starting moaning that he wanted “brains BRAINS” I almost abandoned this re-cap all together, especially since I have no idea how he turned zombie unless the sludge is the cause. When he bit right through the other Russians skull I did change the channel just for a second, but Law & Order: CI did not have Vincent D’Onofrio on it that episode so…never mind.

Now we are in a car driving with two lovely people who are obviously in love. It’s a rainy night and of course they are going to die. They somehow manage to stay in the car until it lands at the bottom of a ditch and then miraculously their dead bodies are outside. It is so we can see the lightening turn them into skeletons. That is some great special effects. Not. Suddenly a kid wakes up and I’m not sure if we are to believe that was his dream or it is totally unrelated. If it was his dream he seems totally unaffected by it. If I had a dream like that it would freak me right out. He walks around the house and does some boring things. He talks to his little brother and we found out a couple of things, 1. His brother is named Pyro which makes me think that Pilot Inspektor is actually a good name; and 2. His parents are dead. I guess that was them earlier. Then he talks to his uncle, who just happens to be Peter Coyote and he is very creepy. Aww. I’d hate to have my parent’s die; a brother named Pyro and live with Uncle Creepy who only wanted me to mow the lawn all the damn time. Sucks to be you Julian.

Julian leaves for school and waves hello to Becky, who rides her bike into a car. How do you just not see a giant car? Luckily Julian is sweet and gives her a ride to school because they are friends and she is madly in love with him. I would probably wreck my bike too if in high school Chris Pardini had waved hello to me. She tries to talk to two of their other friends but they ignore her because she is the dorky girl they hang out with. Right. Instead they are doing something really lame and only stop when Katie the hot chick they are all friends with walks up. Token Black Guy [TBG] talks about how he was accepted into college and therefore Katie will be able to date him. I don’t see how that makes any sense but whatever. They all tease him that he probably hacked into the schools computers and changed his grades or sumthin. I guess we need to know he’s a computer dork for later. I hope. Otherwise they just wasted 7 minutes of my life for NOTHING.

Cut to Uncle Creepy re-animating an arm with toxic lime green fumes.

Cut to school and Julian getting upset because some teacher said something and it reminded him of his parents. Really he doesn’t look all that upset. I bet he uses that as an excuse all the time. I know I would. “Oh you said spoon. My mom loved spoons and now she’s DEAD, I need to leave class.” Katie comes to talk to him and is terrible at that comforting thing. I hope her career placement test didn’t list grief counselor. Zeke, Katie’s ex boyfriend shows up and accuses Julian of “macking on his girlfriend”. I know I have been out of high school for a while, and I realize I’m not the hippest person around but does anyone actually still use the words macking? Julian would NEVER EVER do anything like that because frankly Zeke he likes you. You can tell. Total homo.

Cut to Uncle Creepy re-animating a punk zombie, complete with mo-hawk and everything.

Cut to Forest Gump and Company riding motorbikes in some parking lot. Becky the nerd has on a leather jacket now which means she really does love Julian and is trying to conform to what he likes. Way to go Becky. I don’t think he likes Unicorns though; you better hide your collection. Julian is a pussy and won’t make a jump, so Zeke must therefore show how gigantic his cock is and make the jump. Or shall we say attempts to make the jump but instead crashes and dies. Now really that is just stupid. Oh wait he is not in fact dead, he just knocked him self out with that amazing seven mile an hour crash. They take him to the hospital and when Julian tries to visit his boy crush they tell him that he has died due to complications with pain medication. Why did he need pain medication when he was unconscious? We will never know because Zeke is not dead. He is as good as dead though because he is being taken to Uncle Creepy’s research lab. Which Katie just happens to have a job at. Luckily TBG is awesome at hacking [thank you earlier scene] and riding motorbikes [he is not unconscious or a pussy], and getting into college the right way. YAY. I don’t know what happens after that because my Totinos frozen pizza was ready and I had to cut some delicious. There is apparently some kind of special project going on at the research facility called Necropolis. With a name like that you just had to know it was doomed.

We see some hobos now talking on some side street or somewhere and they are roasting a dead rat or a cat or a crocodile, really I can’t tell. These hobos that have to fend for themselves and eat gross looking things that make my frozen pizza taste that much better suddenly get a surprise when their food turns zombie and attacks them. What? Ridiculous.

Anyway Godsmack plays and the Company heads to the lab. Zeke wakes up to the soothing sounds of chainsaws [or maybe it’s just more Godsmack] strapped to a board and locked in a cage. They should have had Elvin Dandel [Zeke] play Julian because he is really hot and NOT John Keefe whose name sounds like something unpleasant that happens to your body. He is also a terrible actor.

It seems that Katie is something of a hacker herself as she has managed to get access to cameras she did not have before. Go Katie! Of course she’s going to get her ass in serious trouble if she doesn’t stop yelling “YES!” “I’m AWESOME”. She does all this while the rest of the company kills the hobos. Good job you guys.

Katie leaves the office to go do something in another room that we don’t get to see, and the skeev Hector she works with informs us that yes indeed Katie has a “nice pooper”. Thanks Hector. Suddenly a triple jointed Sagittarius lures Hector away from the room and Katie comes back in to direct the Company to Zeke. Way to use your slutty friends Katie. Back with the Company, Becky starts bitching about the hallway stinking of burnt hotdogs. I guess she is one of those self righteous health nuts who doesn’t like anything meaty smelling. I made hotdogs for dinner last night and I sorta burned them. I don’t think they smelled all that bad really.

Now there is a lot of walking and bad acting and stupid music. I’m cereal it’s terrible. The gun wielding seventeen year old [comforting] uses his last three bullets to almost kill Julian’s little brother Pyro. Whew good thing he’s a lousy shot. Suddenly the Company finds themselves in an Ammo room, now that is lucky. Uncle Creepy creeps up behind them and tells them that they are in “big trouble now”. Somehow I don’t buy it when he says it. He decides to show them around the facility and takes them through their maximum security research area. It houses zombies of course. They find Zeke and he’s all “get me the fuck out of here you guys” so they shoot up his cage and set off some alarms. Way.To.Go.Genius. While Forest Gump was alerting the police one of the other company members stumbled upon a room that houses baby zombie fetuses. Yum! Uncle creepy says “Hey Don’t!” very serious like.

Katie does her best to turn off the alarms, like some part time security girl would have all the codes to a major research facility. Yeah right, uh huh, sure thing. Uncle Creepy tells the Company that they are doing “Cloning” and new zombie making for “world domination, what else?”. They all freak out and tell Julian that Uncle Creepy knows what happened to his parents and it’s definitely not just some car crash. They were zombified and studies were done on them. How sweet. While they think about this U.C. sneaks out and locks the Company in the Zombie Fetus room. They blow their way out as if those doors and locks were made of cardboard instead of thick metal to keep baby zombies and big bad mean crazy brain loving zombies out. They also manage to release the rest of the zombies. You guys suck at this rescue mission Zeke was safer locked in that cage now he’s for sure going to get his ass killed.

Katie is now getting sexually harassed by some other guy that works there. She doesn’t even seem fazed by the really gross things he’s saying about her. Then a zombie eats him, picks up the phone and says “Send more security guards” and burps. I almost turned it off right then. Saying “Brains…BRAINS” is one thing, but having a conversation is just something so different I’m ashamed.

Half the company decides to find Julian’s parents, while Zeke, stupid Becky, and Pyro get the car, or a car since they all arrived on motorbikes. Wait. When did Zeke get bit? When did this happen? NOOOOO. Dammit.

Katie runs to get the Triple Jointed Sagittarius [TJS] and Hector who are just getting redressed after doing it on the couch. I’m pretty sure in a place like that there would be cameras watching all the hallways, just to make sure no one was smuggling out zombie hands to keep in fish tanks as conversation pieces; it’s what I would do anyway. So now TJS and Hector’s sexcapades are on tape. It’s like low class Paris Hilton. Well anyway he and the slut die in eight seconds so it really doesn’t matter if he gets fired.

Meanwhile Operation Rescue Julian’s Parents is underway and while being attacked the lousy shots run out of bullets. So they proceed to kick some major zombie ass with their mad ninja skillz. One of them dies and it’s not Julian or the TBG, neither of them seems too upset that their buddy has been violently killed by the undead, or they are just really good at hiding it because crying is for pussy girls.

My zombie boyfriend Zeke and the other two have found a car but Becky can’t take the safety off her gun or more importantly she has no bullets since you can hear it trying to fire but whatever you say. Becky gets to drive but since the car won’t start she decides to flood the engine and just wave the gun around like an idiot. This movie is stating that letting women drive in emergencies is the stupidest thing you can ever do ever. A zombie has broken through the back window and is trying to pull Pyro through, instead of helping Zeke just sits there and turns the radio on. I think we might be breaking up after that one. Luckily though they happened to pick a car whose owner had the same taste in music he did. It would have been so much better if the radio had started playing polka music. Pyro uses his vest of DOOM to ward off the zombie by shocking him and suddenly the car starts right up. Zeke has officially turned zombie as he tells Becky that he wants to “eat her sweet fucking brains”. Yes well there isn’t much in there so it will be an appetizer.

They crash. Cut to commercial. Apparently the Sci-Fi channel has decided to make a new Hercules series. I don’t care how mini it claims to be there will never be another Hercules like Kevin Sorbo. He just is Hercules in my mind.

I don’t think even George A. Romero could have made this script work, he may make smart zombies but he’d never have them hold conversations. He spits on this movie I’m just sure of it.

zom·bie also zom·bi: One who looks or behaves like an automaton.

The Company is still looking for Julian’s parents and it’s a good thing Uncle Creepy was extremely polite told them exactly what room to look in because otherwise this movie would be even longer than it already is. It’s the never-ending crap story, Jesus. Turns out his parents have been turned into uber-soldiers with lots of leather, weird metal dreadlocks, and guns for hands. Nothing says good mom like machine gun arms. He seems a little upset but tears are still for fucking pussies. They decide to get the hell out before some freak accident wakes mom and dad up or something but the hallways are crawling with zombies. They head for the roof where conveniently there is just enough rope for the two of them to scale down the entire twelve plus stories of the building. At the bottom they run into TJS and Hector the horny security guard who are now Zombies. Julian is having some second thoughts on killing Triple Jointed Sagittarius because frankly he lost his virginity to her. I’m sure half the town has lost their virginity to her; really could it have been that good? Anyway there are no bullets so if Triple Joint ever gets her insane hunger for brains satisfied she’ll be the sluttiest zombie ever!

Uncle Creepy has released Julian’s mom and dad from their glass prison. Then there is a lot of fighting, and I kind of loose track of what’s going on but here is the basic rundown. Becky sorta blows up Julian’s dad. Zeke kills Pyro, which is really fucking mean and if I was Julian I’d totally kill myself. What do you have to live for now dude? Zeke then has a conversation with Julian about how he really is macking on his girlfriend and that is just so wrong. Aren’t you dead? I mean I love you and everything but really lets be serious isn’t the urge to eat sweet human brain a little more important than feeling betrayed? I think death is a great reason to move on to someone else. Julian puts a grenade inside Zeke and he sadly explodes. We find out Zeke was really made of a mixture of felt and possibly wool or cotton.

The S.W.A.T. team arrives just in time to shoot down the rest of the zombies. Whew. Good thing the brave men and women of the state were there. I don’t know what we would have done if they hadn’t been. After five minutes of them shooting and being really damn boring they finally run over Julian’s moms head with their Zombie killing Tank. Julian’s dad is so upset by this he awakens from Becky’s beating and uses his one good arm to let off some rounds. Poor Katie gets hit and dies a really melodramatic death, with lots of blood spitting but no I’m going to die confessions so we do not get to find out if Julian and she were macking with each other. Of course I’m inclined to think yes when Julian embraces his inner pussy and freaks right out screaming and crying and snotting all over her deadness. So he apparently loved her more than his parents and little brother. That is just shameful Julian.

The last thing we see is a news report detailing the zombie escape. It was no big deal guys, no really! All the zombies are dead now, you are so totally safe. Cue cheesy smile and on to sports. Of course what happens? Come on I bet you can guess. Yea the news anchor totally gets jumped on by a zombie and his head is made into a pre-prime-time snack. That was the best part of the movie.

Elvin Dandel aka Zeke. See I told you.

HIGH TENSION

2005-09-26T01:00:00.000-07:00

[S H O C K S] 20/25

With a name like High Tension it better have at least a few shocks otherwise there are a bunch of lying liars running around naming movies. I was shocked quite a few times by this movie. Shocked that it was dubbed badly in English, shocked that they switched halfway through the movie from dub to sub, and shocked that I still kind of enjoyed it even though they did both. That’s not all that was shocking about this movie though. There is the completely unpredictable ending that almost ruined the entire movie for me. I won't tell but if you've seen any Asian horror movies recently I can almost guarantee you've seen this ending in more than half of those. Also when the bad French killer masturbates into a dead girls skull, that was pretty shocking, sorta awesome in a sick way though.

[A N T A G O N I S T] 17/25

OOOoooOOOO [don’t you hate that?] Who exactly is the antagonist? Well I won’t give it all away though I suppose my cryptic wording will anyway. The antagonist is scary. I mean really really awesomely scary. Why? Well because he’s your next-door neighbor, he’s the guy that fixes your refrigerator or your toilet. He seems like every blue-collar creepy guy you’ve ever let into your house and given a glass of tea. DON’T DO IT!!! GET HIM OUT OF THE HOUSE!!!! Except he’s French and somehow that makes him even scarier. At least to me, because French people freak me out. I think its all the crusty bread and 600 types of cheeses. I love it but it’s still scary. Then all your assumptions are turned upside down and everything goes wonky and oh my god what the hell do you mean [deleted due to spoilers].

[S C A R I N E S S] 15/25

It had quite a few scary moments; I jumped a couple of times for sure. It had some of the staple horror movie elements but I’d consider it more psychological [foreshadowing? Maybe] than true horror. There were those times that you thank God you don’t live in the country and you want to scream at the characters to move their fat asses along because someone is going to take a circular saw to their foreheads. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, movies are just scarier in other languages, even if they are switching from sub to dub like a kitschy kung fu movie [see: The Flying Guillotine].

[E N J O Y M E N T] 20/25

I sat there watching this girl Marie evade the killa, thinking this has got to be the smartest girl ever written in a horror movie. Usually everyone is mildly retarded and makes stupid mistakes. I even thought about switching teams just in case I ever found myself in a seriously fucked situation, not that I would because I’m not nearly skinny or hot enough to ever get killed by a madman. I did like it. I swear! I might buy it if the DVD has it all in French and none of this pussy English crap. Especially when the people look so obviously French it makes my skin crawl to hear an American accent. I want the soundtrack desperately. That is not to say I didn’t dislike a lot about this film. There are some continuity issues, that don’t add up once the film is over. Up until you find out the twist it’s just filled with some great moments. So should you see it, sure especially if you like watching girls kick ass and watching people die in moderately gross ways. L'extrémité. Allez voient le film si vous osez.

[E X T R A - C R E D I T] 33

+10 points for the awesome kick ass Lesbian

+8 for the girly masturbation scene

+20 for the awesome soundtrack

-15 for the continuity issues, I still need closure on this and I’m taking it out on the movie through the points

+10 because that French dude totally boofed a decapitated head.

DARK WATER [US]

2005-09-20T20:41:00.000-07:00

[S H O C K S] 8/25
There were few moments in this movie that actually shocked me. I never
once jumped or had to cover my eyes. What was shocking was the idea of
the film. In the original Japanese version there were a several scenes
were I did end up jumping a little and trying to hide it by weak
excuses of being cold, somehow movies are always scarier when screamed
at you in Japanese. But this re-make fell short in this aspect.
However if the idea of children being in situations of neglect makes
you hurt a little on the inside then there are some shocking moments
present.

[A N T A G O N I S T] 15/25
Is it just me or is the longhaired child coming at you schlock getting
old? Maybe it is just me because here we are again. But really is she
the only antagonist? I'd say the water was almost scarier. Especially
if it was ruining my stuff, I'm very fond of my stuff. But is this
little girl really all bad? Who knows because we barely find out
anything about her. A little bit abandoned, a smidgeon of lonely and
you have your Dark Water ghost. She was prettier than the Japanese
version that's for sure and I'm still undecided if that makes her
better or somehow worse. I'm a little confused because I'm almost
positive the girl who played young Dahlia also played the ghost. Does
that mean something?

[S C A R I N E S S] 10/25
Dark Water has a more interesting look than most horror movies, though
it falls short in the real scares. It's predictable at almost every
twist and while every one harbors secrets the ones I was really
interested in figuring out where never answered. This is not a movie
to go see if you are craving that "someone is watching me" feeling.
You just won't get it. I wouldn't say this movie was so much scary as
it was mildly disturbing. It made me want to hug every child I
happened to come across for the next week. Mental illness has become
the new scary and while it doesn't run rampant through this film it's
a definite undertone.

[E N J O Y M E N T] 13/25
Connelly did a great job in the role [she has mastered that doe-eyed
vulnerability] and Ariel Gade had that eerie stare down. The mood was
set, the acting was spot on but it somehow still fell short of its
Japanese predecessor. I think the ending was a little easier on my own
sanity but the original did evoke strong emotions that were absent in
this one. However, it wasn't 111 minutes completely wasted. I had a
good time and like I mentioned before it was put together nicely.
Future rental, doubtful buy.

[E X T R A - C R E D I T] 31

+10 points for John C. Reilly who cracks my shit right up and was
great as the shiesty apartment manager.
+10 points Dougray Scott who left me plagued with thoughts like "Is he
really hot? Or am I just crazy for being strangely attracted to him?"
+10 points for Tim Roth, because I already know I'm slightly crazy for
being attracted to him.
-3 points for Camryn Manheim as the pushy teacher. Remember when she
was cool? Oh yeah that's right…
+4 for the obvious masturbation done by Pete Postlethwaite, creepy
like walking in on your dad but funny all the same.

[T O T A L - P O I N T S] 77/100

GINGER SNAPS

2005-09-20T11:30:00.000-07:00

[S H O C K S] 15/25
The only real shock I had was how good this moderately budgeted Canadian movie was. Even more shocked when I realized it was Canadian. Its not often that our neighbors to the North make such a great and welcome contribution to the horror genre. Though as for actual movie shocks, this is one movie that is more scary then shocking.

[A N T A G O N I S T] 20/25
The special effects are great and the director keeps the suspense up by not revealing the full werewolf get up until the end. The werewolf itself is an excellent creation. A big, scary, non-CGI beast. I know I'd be scared if I came across a creature like that. I was really impressed also by the make up effects as Ginger (Katharine Isabelle) slowly turned from human to werewolf and I loved that tail.

[S C A R I N E S S] 20/25
There are several scary moments involving the actual werewolf. Especially towards the end when it becomes a suspenseful cat and mouse game between Brigitte (Emily Perkins) and the fully transformed Ginger. Not to mention there is plenty of blood and gore for those die hard gore hounds. This is definitely a must see for horror fans.

[E N J O Y M E N T]25/25
I LOVE this movie, which probably makes my opinion more biased. Although the premise may seem cheesy this is actually a great story about how the two sisters, Brigitte and Ginger, deal with growing up, with the changing in to a werewolf as a metaphor for adolescence, turning from teenager to adult. Stars Isabelle and Perkins give nuanced performance. These two share a great bond and make you believe that they truly are sisters. Mimi Rogers adds some laughs as the sisters clueless mother who is only interested in when the sisters will start their periods.

[E X T R A - C R E D I T] 35
10 extra points each for Isabelle and Perkins for their believable performances.
10 points for Kris Lemche as the pot dealing greenhouse worker.
5 points for that tail.
10 points for the emotionally involving script and the fact that it avoids the usual teen horror cliches.

[T O T A L - P O I N T S] 115/100

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2005-09-19T22:41:00.000-07:00

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